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Category Archives: Eye Candy
Good cleavage does more than just make a mans pee-pee turn hard.
It can earn you that great office job that you’re not
qualified for, automatically shoot you to the front of a long line,
and all in all makes the world go round. Just ask Jayne Mansfield.
She got payed retarded amounts of money for having a great rack. Nice.
She also helped Playboy sell a shit load of copies back in 1955 and
also had a nude scene in the 1963 film “Promises, Promises.”
Since The Super Bowl is less than a month away, I figured
we should pay homage to the unsung heros of the game. Yes my friend,
I’m talking about the cheerleaders. Fuck yeah! I’m not sure
what the purpose of a cheerleader is, but I know I like
what they do. They dance, bend over, and yell shit. Awesome.
Several NFL teams don’t provide their loyal fan base
with cheerleaders. Soulless fucks! Here are the cities
and the reasons why.
Pittsburgh Steelers – Fuck Pittsburgh, that’s why.
Green Bay Packers – Hard nipples.
Chicago Bears – More hard nipples.
Cleveland Browns – There’s no attractive woman in Cleveland.
New York Giants – Eli farted.
Detroit Lions – Nobody goes to a Lions game. Not even the players.
Cheerleaders are normal people just like you and me.
The only difference is they’re smoking hot and get payed
once a week for it.
Now that my friends, is what I like to call Sports Sexy. Tip your hats
Super Bowl XLV prediction:
Packers 24 – Steelers 17
Fuck you Cro-mag Roethlisberger!
Something for the kids…
Have you ever noticed that when a band has only one female member they always play the bass?
White zombie, The Talking Heads, Hole (I think they were all dudes), Sonic Youth and
a shit load of other bands featured a female on the 4 string. How about
the drums? How about the fucking keyboard for Christ sack. Female singers don’t count
because I don’t give two fucks about any of them (except for the ones I know personally and Katy Perry).
But out of all of female musicians, specifically the low-enders, Ginger Reyes has to be the hottest.
Is she a good bass player? I don’t know because she played for the Smashing Pumpkins and I fucking
HATE the Smashing Pumpkins. Billy Corgan is one of the biggest pieces of shit to ever live.
Have you ever taken a shit and you have that one rouge floater that doesn’t go down after you flush?
That’s Billy Corgan, a floating turd that wont go down. When I see a turd I often mentally copy and paste his face on the tip of it.
This makes flushing all the more satisfying. Hes voice sounds like a deers mating call. Just awful.
But back to Mrs. Ginger, She’s really hot and has recently married. Well that fucking sucks.
And that my friends is what I call 4-string Sexy. Tip your 40 oz’s gents.
Honorable mention: Melissa Auf der Maur
How the fuck do you pronounce that?